No. It’s a small word but has big power.

By its very nature, it’s negative. It can be a rejection, a refusal, a blocker. It conjures up images of doors closing, of backs being turned. A cold shoulder.

This is why it can be so difficult for us to say ‘no’. We worry that we might offend, seem unhelpful, or obstructive. We might not get asked or invited again.

But ‘no’ also has a different side. It can be liberating. Freeing. Give clarity. Set purpose.

Saying no can help you avoid becoming overloaded and overwhelmed. It can help you avoid being taken advantage of. It can help you avoid doing something that you don’t really want to.

Saying no is important for maintaining respect for your own personal boundaries – whether that’s at work or in other areas of your life. If your time is already busy and booked up, and new requests, invitations and demands on your time come in, you need to make a decision about whether it takes priority over something that’s already there. And something else has to shift. You have to say no to something in order to make space for it.

To help yourself consider whether you say no, ask yourself:
• Is this a priority for me?
• (How) Am I going to benefit? (It’s ok to be selfish, here!)
• What is the real risk of saying no?

Yes – it really is ok to say no. And there are ways that you can say no clearly and still maintain good relationships. It’s about being straightforward, firm and courteous.

If you sometimes struggle to say no, here are a few examples for you to try:

“Now isn’t a good time for me, I’m afraid. I’ll let you know when my diary frees up.”
“I really appreciate your offer, but I’m too busy with work right now.”
“That sounds great, but I can’t make it. Could you keep me in mind for next time?”

Try it out. See what happens. You might just be surprised by how liberating saying no nicely can be.